Writes Cecilia Alegría, Dra. Amor

If you are one of the people who lives emphasizing the defects of their loved one, wondering if your partner is really the right one for you and if he or she really loves you, you may suffer from a psychological disorder known as Obsessive-Compulsive Relational Disorder.

If you try to end the relationship, the very idea of doing so fills you with extreme anxiety. Paradoxically, if you decide to stay in the relationship, you do not live in peace because the ghosts of love failure haunt you. To prove that your relationship does not and will not work well, you emphasize each other's flaws, oversizing them. You cannot see the virtues of others because their mistakes overshadow them. And just seeing the bad leads you to experience even greater anxiety.

In addition, many of the patients with this disorder report feeling less sexually satisfied than those without it. The obsessions suffered by the patient are often extremely stressful for their partner, which impacts the functioning of the love relationship. Since intimate relationships are basic to the general well-being of the human being, they become sensitive areas for people with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Among the main symptoms we find: obsessive doubts, unnecessary worries, control of what the other does and the need for constant emotional reinforcement (that the loved one tells him that he loves him and that he shows it all the time). On the other hand, the concern about the failures, errors and defects of the other is exaggerated, as well as doubts about the survival of the relationship in the future.

If you are the spouse of a person suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Relational Disorder:

- Learn about the disorder

- Positively reinforces their healthy behaviors instead of criticizing irrational behaviors, fear and avoidance

- Learn when to be more patient and when to push for change

- Do not totally abandon your own life and interests

- Maintain a support system, made up of family and friends

- Accompany the process step by step, attending therapy with your partner. Don't delay asking for professional help. They need it to save their marriage.

For international conferences and counseling, contact Cecilia Alegría, Dr. Amor, through her website or 305 332 1170 via text message.

Cecilia Alegría, LDra. Amor

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