MY BOYFRIEND NO LONGS TO TOUCH ME!
Writes Cecilia Alegría, Dra. Amor
Cecilia Alegría, Dra Amor advises a young woman whose depressed boyfriend no longer makes love to her and the wedding is on
Dear Doctor Amor:
I recently accepted my 4-year-old boyfriend's engagement ring. The wedding will be in 7 months. I love him very much but I have a doubt because our sex life is going through a crisis. He has started drinking a lot. You have a large financial debt that you cannot pay. Last month her mom passed away and since then we have not had sex. Before we used to make love almost daily but now it's 29 days that I don't have to. I am concerned to see him so depressed. I await your response, Teresa.
You are absolutely right to want to solve this problem now. You can't wait to do it after the wedding. You would make a serious mistake.
It has always been believed that low libido is a female problem rather than a male one, but there are also men who suffer from a low sexual appetite and this can be a DYSFUNCTION OF DESIRE, TEMPORARY OR CHRONIC. Scientific statistics show that 32% of couples in the US make love once a month and 20% can be considered ASEXUAL because they have sex less than 10 times a year (US National Health and Social Life Survey 1994 / National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior 2010).
Chances are your boyfriend's problem has to do with occasional, passing sexual dysfunction. She is going through an extremely difficult time in her life with two factors that have exacerbated her stress levels: her financial debt and the death of her mother a month ago. The lethargy stage, as a result of mourning, can keep the person wanting nothing - not even eating, much less making love - for about 3 to 6 months, depending on the personal effort they put into recovering. The worst thing is that, to avoid pain, he has turned to alcohol, which brings with it another disastrous consequence: numerous studies have shown that EXCESSIVE INTAKE OF ALCOHOL NOTORIALLY HURTS SEXUAL PERFORMANCE. An old aphorism says that alcohol produces excitement but prevents exercising it.
Statistics also show that 75% of people with depression have lost their sexual appetite. It is true that the consumption of anti depressants can also lead to a decrease in libido, but currently there are some brands of antidepressants that can be taken together with Viagra or Levitra to lessen that effect.
In order for you to help him, you have to talk to him, explaining to what extent his condition worries you. Tell him that it seems to him that he is suffering from a depression that is affecting his relationship with you, especially in the sexual field, and that you want to accompany him to the doctor. Try to talk at a time when he is a little more rested and more encouraged. Use a delicate and highly respectful tone.
The main thing now is to get him to agree to visit the doctor. If he doesn't want to do it, you're going to have to put him between a rock and a hard place: Tell him that you feel rejected because he no longer touches you and that if he doesn't accept help for his sexual problem, he will end up losing you. Also, you cannot and should not marry until he has recovered from the loss of his mother, quit alcohol, reduce his debt to a manageable figure and be the man you fell in love with again. Either he agrees to get help or the wedding is canceled. Point.
For international conferences and counseling, contact Cecilia Alegría, Dr. Amor, through her website www.ladoctoraamor.com or 305 332 1170 via text message.